Judicial procedures of separation and divorce
Measures to care for minors
That social reality has changed substantially in recent times, and for this very reason the regulation of marriage processes (or de facto partnerships) in our legislation is unquestionable . There are hardly any obstacles to dissolving a marriage that after more or less time is unwanted (three months from its celebration… art. 81 in relation to 86 of the Civil Code).
Customs change and we must all strive to, as far as possible, improve them. However, there is something, and I want to focus the attention of these lines on this, that should not change: the protection of the weakest , of innocent beings (many times) and in any case probable victims of a disagreement between their parents that should not mark their future in a traumatic way. There is no doubt that age is a determining factor in this regard and full childhood is not the same as adolescence or somewhat more mature ages; in the same way that everything is conditioned by the family, educational and even economic environment. In any case, it is an arduous task that must be faced with intelligence by both parents and legal professionals.
As we know, these procedures are open to all kinds of ups and downs, giving rise to disparate situations in the course of their processing: they can start contentiously, sometimes with harsh confrontations, and move step by step towards solutions that, even if they are minimal, suppose a certain consensus. This is where the work of divorce lawyers is decisive.
It is not my intention to delve into legal clarifications that are left for another time, but rather in a few brief reflections on my experience as a lawyer in this matter. And it is here where I want to emphasize that our work must be based on the goodwill of bringing disparate positions together always thinking about the protection of minors.
Negotiations to reach an understanding when setting a visiting regime –including grandparents- are vital and flexibility must be imposed to reach an agreed solution that is least harmful to the children in a way that allows them to lead their lives in the most normal way possible. We must not forget that a childhood trauma can mark a person for life and this must be avoided at all costs. I know that in order to achieve a certain agreement, the collaboration of the parents is essential, but we all know that sometimes the animosity between them is such that we, the lawyers, must use our psychological skills to pave the way, avoiding countless obstacles that may arise. in it. We cannot forget that fundamental stages for the development of the person are experienced at these ages, so one must always be very careful for the benefit of adequate development and attention to this detail, without falling into unnecessary complacency because it is not uncommon to find Excessive flattery to mark distances with respect to the other parent and thus attract their attention, their affection. Neither selfish parents nor excessively spoiled children.
Not easy right? Of course, but our job is also to strive to find that balance of interests. Throughout more than twenty-five years of professional practice this has always been my endeavor (of course I have not always succeeded) but I do not give up trying on every occasion that arises, so I encourage those who read this article to persevere in this idea and trust the professionals and (the parents) collaborate to find light together where everything seems to be night.
Judges, psychosocial teams, parents and lawyers have a task ahead of us of such extreme importance that we cannot afford to relax thinking that the mere passage of time will fix everything because this rarely happens.
This is at least my advice and that’s how I put it.
From JLCasajuana Abogados a greeting and at your disposal.
23/02/2016
